Archive for the ‘chat’ Category

Chat: Lies
May 12, 2008



P Time: everyday is a great day to be alive….when my gentleman friend arrived last evening on self-proclaimed “negro-time” (i.e. 11:30 rather than originally discussed 9:30) i had already sunk 3/4 bottle of malbec and smoked a blunt to my head.


i lied and told him that my friend came over for a glass of wine. 


im sure my glossy eyes and slurred speach didnt give me away a bit then we drank a whole other bottle and smoked more….as a result i think i forgot many segments of our sexy time


the bruises all over my body tell the story though


Bug: hahahah you lied saying it was your friend!!  You are so funny!!!


P Time:  yes- how psycho is that?  wanna know the worst part…


in my state of blunted’ness i thought my story would only be convincing if there was another wine glass out.


so i put one out.


then i realized i was drinkin red and there was no trace of red in the mystery glass, so i poured a splash from my glass into it….i wasnt going to offer this info


Bug: you did not put another glass out!! HAHAHA you are so sly.  I love your stealth ways


P Time:  but i knew Q was gonna find me there at home all loopy and bust my chops…so i wanted to be prepared


Bug: you did not pour in a splash.  haahahah I could die right now.  you are sooo effin redic.  I love love love


P Time: of course he did just that and i stuck to my story…i even made up a name for my “friend”:  Nicki…totally gender-neutral


im so weird….


Bug: NIKKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



P Time: the best part is i think he assumed nicki was a boy for some reason cause he got that cute jealous look on his face and said to me “well i hope NICKY enjoyed getting you drunk”

i shamefully basked in the glory of the situation…

i think i did at least….i was insane high.


Bug: stop!!!  And you didnt correct him cause that nikki was originally a fake LADY!!!??  OMGG OMG OMG – cause you liked the jealous look in his eye


you are so creepy.  its makes me so proud.  you are so good at improve.  I like do not know how to lie with a straight face.


P Time: im starting to  think i have been a sociopath my whole life but am just starting to hone in on my powers.


Bug: I even lie when you spend overnight about the fake hours i say we got home… and then end up telling him it was really 8am hahaha


Cause i can’t hold it in

Dont lie to me promise?  never?  i am so gullible I will believe everytthing and everything

I even believed my friend ryan who was just as hung as me this morning and he said he came straight to the office from marquee… that they let him stay in a sneaky room, and he had to lock up on the way over,… I believed it and he didn’t tell me he was lying till later….


P Time:  i mean- it was the most blatant lie.  it went like this:


Q:  hey girl…(gives me kiss, tries to lift me up by my butt at which point i stumble a bit)…oooh- looks like someone’s been doing some drinking…
P:  oh yeah…im a lil tipsy.
Q:  you been drinking here?…by yourself….?
P:  hahha.  no.  absolutely not.

…with a friend.

Q:  really baby? (still frenching/ being 3rd degreeish but in a flirty way)
P: my friend nicki- yup…me and nicki
(didnt skip a beat…gestured to imaginary friend’s red- wine- laced glass on my counter)


i would never lie to you.  only boys.


Bug: hahah


P Time: and only boys who i am certain have lied to me in the past.  i serve up justice to the best of my abilities.


Bug: I bet you even put on lipstick and sipped the glass for lip marks!

P Time: ahahahah- no. that would destroy my gender neutral concept
Bug: oh I forgot.  god youre so on point!


Chat with Golf
April 25, 2008

me: range?

Golf: what time?

me: you tell me

Golf: meet there at 6

i don’t usuall get done until around 6, but I will stop early for the range

me: leave your place at 5:30

Golf: yeah

me: i’ll leave here at 5:30

Golf: i’ll bring your putter

me: don’t have my clubs so….will be using yours

oh yeah def bring that f’ing putter

Golf:  Ok

me: sick sick sick sick sick

Golf: i’ll meet you there


me: peesh

Golf: canceling driving range

sorry bro

me: why

me: you get to that range, boy.

i don’t wanna hear any bs excuses from you.

i know work is not your excuse so don’t even go there with me

you get to that range

you get there



Golf:  I’ll be there.


me:  6pm.