Subject: Warning!

David: Dear Friends,

I’d like to sound a warning! 7-11 is supposedly giving away free SLURPEES! Naturally, I was waiting in line this morning for my SLUPEE (they have terrible flavors these days), and when I finally went to get my SLURP on, I was more than irate to find out that they’re giving them away in containers ALMOST AS SMALL AS A DIXIE CUP!!! Let this be a warning!!! I was furious when I found this out and the first thing I thought I should do is alert my boys! Warning! Warning! You are much better off getting a BIG GULP!!!! Repeat: GET A BIG GULP!!!!

Keith: whoa! wow, good thing i checked my email before my noon 7/11 slurpee run! thanks for the heads up, david!

wow, what a great call!

friendly regards all around,



Dude! Thanks for the heads up bro! Thats what bro’s are for. Big gulps on me!

David: Howdy!

You guys hear that? BIG GULPS on Ron!!! You heard it!!!! I certainly heard it!!!!! What a guy goddamnit!!! Ron for President! BIG GULPS on him!!!!

Ron: I like the sounds of that! Hot Damn! I can see it now… a 7/11 on every corner and a BIG GULP in every hand. A nation united by BIG GULPS. No red states and blue states, just BIG GULP states.


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